Ronit Judelman

 

I found out about Judelman’s work on SweetStation and fell in love with her work. I believe there is this relation between her work and her being a clinical and educational psychologist.

I love the forms of clear resin like objects that are homes to colorful little objects..

holding onto myself

 

I try to hold on to myself, my inner child, my own beliefs and my inner music..

I try to hold on to myself, protecting that inner child from all the bad that comes from outside, all the growing up needed to survive in this world, and all the growing up that kills the happiness with in me.

I try to hold on to myself, my own beliefs.. that gut feeling of right and wrong, the “love-li-hood” that lives within, the arrow that guides me, in this cruel world.

I try to hold on to myself, to my inner music.. the tune that keeps my feet twitching in meetings, the rhythm my body moves in, the rhythm of my steps while I walk.. the music that gets me out of bed even during the grey days..

I try to hold on to myself, never let go.. holding it down from a cliff and trying to never let it slip from my hands.. but the grease that this life has put onto my body, the wind that’s trying to blow us over, and the light that shuts my eyes and keeps them from seeing makes it harder each day..

But I am holding onto myself, trying to never let go and trying to survive..

realization

I realized that I haven’t been involved in this blog as much as I used to, or wanted to.. I had let go for a while.. and felt the emptiness in me get bigger as days go by.. and now I just found a correlation between the emptiness and this blog.. as I move away from it, the emptiness gets bigger and bigger.. as I write more, I feel more fulfilled and joyful..

so what did we learn from this? that I have to write more and share more..

I do have to apologize, from you and from “seeking happiness” itself.. sorry I have been away.. and kept to myself – instead of sharing my life; whatever it may be..

from now on- things are going to change.. and I am hoping to be more involved and active in my “seeking happiness” journey!

what has happened in my life since I have been away – not much to be honest.. I guess that’s why I kept to myself and held myself from the happiness that I could have shared with you.. I don’t have much in my life that moves the butterflies in my stomach, nor anything that gives me a days worth of smiles and joy..

the only thing that I am looking forward to is my trip to the US, to Washington,DC – my hometown, to “my baby”..

and one more thing – to a possible new job that is on the horizon.. more details may come later.. maybe soon..

tears

I keep on getting tears in my eyes.. no matter whats going on.. whether it is a good day or whether it is just a hell of a day.. for a second when I get lost in my thoughts I get tears.. tears that I try to control but am not very good at handling.. even if something good happens, or something good is said to me, I don't see the good in it anymore..

I am not sure, why I feel this way.. maybe because it was a busy busy week and continues to be one.. or whether I am sleepless, and will continue to be sleep deprived.

I am sitting in an airport, writing this post with tears filling up, for no reason.. no reason at all.. i am starting to think there is something wrong with me.. wonder what that is..

Anyways.. so this post feels like I am writing in my diary.. but here it goes..

Have a nice weekend everyone.. and hope yours is tearless!