June 20, 2011

4 more days

I am back to counting days.. we are at day 4.. 4 more days until “my baby” is back in Istanbul.. 4 more days until I can see him, touch him, feel him next to me.. 4 more days I have to keep it cool, act normal and live the life I am getting used to live.. but after the 4 days, I will wear my pretty dress and get ready to welcome “my baby”.
During our experience away from each other I realized the potential of bonding; long distance relationship has given us. First I was afraid, I was petrified.. I was really scared that we weren’t going to make it thru. However as time passed, things got easier, we both realized the love in between and mostly the trust we have for each other.. that made things easier. Yes, it is hard.. to be away from your loved one, from your best friend. But I believe this long distance thing has made us stronger.
If you are going into a long distance relationship there are points which you should be ready to accept.. like we did. The thing is we spent 24 hours together for the most of our relationship, from the start, until the day I had to move back to Turkey for work. Until then we had never thought about the future, of the consequences of our relationship. But once it was time for me to come to Turkey, the truth came out. You have to accept that nothing will be the same again. Not the converstations, not the interaction, the intimacy, the friendship or the relationship. It becomes another step in your life, it becomes something else. The first week away seems to be the toughest, but for me I think it was the easiest. Because before you leave eachothers side, you play in your mind the sadness you will feel once that you are away. And that actually makes it easier. But then comes the 2nd week away, and then things get tough. You are faced with the truth. If you can make it without any fights or disagreements then believe me a month away, or 6 months away passes quickly. Then comes the time for you to be together. Once you begin the countdown, the last week is the hardest. Because you know there are only a few days in between you and your "baby" to meet again, to be together, the same again. You wait, you wait. the day comes.. the day that you feel you will see fireworks, and magical dinner conversations.. that does not happen. Yes, you probably will have butterflies, and feel like the fireworks are popping inside of you, but believe me there are non when you go to see him. It just depends on you. I actually feel like I am in "love actually" the movie, the airport scene.. I love that scene.. I believe that each first time I see him, we are in that movie. I will be lying if I said it's not magical. Everything is magical when I am with him. the simplest conversation is magical, but I guess that's what love is.. all magic.
So, what ever I was saying, just bla bla.. the thing is "my baby" is coming home.. and I can not wait any longer to have him, here with me for 2 months.. I can't wait for him to be close to me.. I just can't wait... 4 more days..

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